Stupid cat. I was out on the balcony tonight talking on the phone and decided to let Marzie enjoy a bit of fresh air too; I don't mind as long as she doesn't eat the plants. So there I am lounging and chatting when she decides to jump from the second floor balcony to the ground.
Now, my building is built into a hill so there are terraces to climb. I get to her the first time and pick her up (she is predictably displeased) and am trying to figure a way down that does not require arms to clamber when she spies a neighboring cat and commences to howl, hiss, and spit to beat anything I've heard from her. Digs her claws through my new shirt, into my chest, draws blood, bites arm in several places.
"What the **** is wrong with you?" I ask as I drop her. Then stalk her through thorny bushes whilst plotting an easier path back to the apartment. Finally catch her and (wisely this time) hold her with all injurious surfaces far away while carrying her back to my abode, at which point she becomes all domesticated again, purring and ingratiating herself. No ma'am. I know the score now.